| hee hee... |
[May. 14th, 2007|01:04 pm] |
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I'm getting MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| back again... |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|04:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
i know it's been forever again...i'm a loser...
so what's new here....working at camp is great...i'm loving it...
scott and i are getting close to celebrating one year in may...can't believe how fast a year can fly by...this time last year he was in pittsburgh and i was working at starbucks...crazy...
nothing is really new...just keeping busy....
i'm boring:) |
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| Another day closer... |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|09:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
So...i now only have to wait four days to see him....and i can't wait....these days can't go by fast enough....is it friday? my debut as the program coordinator went well yesterday...we had more kids and mentors than ever before...so that was pretty much awesome...and there were only small problems...and no one died....
that's about it....i'm off...just trying to get back in the habit of updating....they'll get longer one day... |
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| i'm alive... |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|09:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
so here i am resurfacing again...i swear i'll be around more now...i have stable internet...i'm living it up in glendale california...living and working full time at the summer camp i've come to love...
scott and i started dating again in may...things are amazing...even though we're currently living three hours apart...it's only for two more years...
life is good...just wanted to say hi again.... |
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| hello there.... |
[Apr. 3rd, 2005|07:54 am] |
so i haven't been this sick in awhile...i got sick a week ago on friday...and i still wake up at night with a sore throat....but at least i'm back doing things again....for 3 days i stayed in bed....and did nothing....slept mostly.....
but i'm alive again....trying to get ahold of travis again now that i have my voice back....my friend jen agreed to go to santa cruz with me for the show....and i'm excited...she's never seen it....i've never been in the audience....now travis just needs to call me back....and say that he'll get me my tickets and make sure that there's a seat next to him in the front.....hee hee....
what else? i'm counting down the days that i work at starbucks....and then camp...and then i need to have a plan.....school needs to be in the plan......i can do it.... |
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| another long gap.... |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|04:19 pm] |
so i'm sorry that the gaps between updates are rediculously long....i'm in the process of getting internet at my house bec this is driving me up the wall...i hope that i never again have to live without internet....damn i'm addicted to the thing....and i miss writing long entries about random things or nothing at all....and most of all i miss being up to date about everyone else.....i miss people like crazy......
so....my life is boring and my love life is non existent....that's about all on my front.....
love u till next time.... |
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| way too long..... |
[Nov. 20th, 2004|08:23 pm] |
so i realized how rediculous i was for neglecting this thing....i'm sorry....no one's reading it by now i'm sure....i missed it.....i still don't have internet on my own computer....i check email on my phone...i haven't figured out how to do anything else internet related on there....one day....how is the world?
life is good.....i'm working at starbucks.....really using that higher education i have to start paying for in a month or so....yeah....well.....it's a job i can do while i poder my options for credentialing and still have benefits....and free coffee...
let's see....other aspects of my life.....camp went really well.....i stayed single....i've been single for so long now that i don't remember what it's like not to be.....but anyways.....not dwelling on that....i'm working on a couple of options.....i'll let u know where that goes.....one's looking hopeful.....
scott's in med school on the east coast....somehow we've managed to stay connected...and we have a very open friendship...he's the first male friend i've ever had that i wasn't uncomfortable confronting about things....i did it this summer...and a couple of times since then and he actually hears and responds to what i need from him.....very different....but don't worry...i'm not falling into that again.....
i've been working on the weekends at camp doing a mentoring program....and then i'm doing winter camp in december....i'm such a camp fool....but i love it there....i can't help it.....
i hope everyone is well.... |
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| one last entry.... |
[Jun. 11th, 2004|07:49 am] |
welll hello there world...i think it's been a week or so since i last posted...and i know....i should be punished for it....we can all talk about the terms of that punihsment later...yeah......that could be fun.......hmmmmm......
so i'm done with college and all free time thereafter has been consumed by packing...which i'm not even really done....damn the world....the next step is to unplug the computer...and who knows when the next time is that i'll be able to post...and when i'll be able to use the internet on my own computer.....so sad...
today is my last day of work...i'm gonna really miss these kids...i've never had a job with kids this long...i've watched these guys grow and learn for a year and a half....almost two whole school years...i'm gonna cry.....like i did on sat night of the show...these r the ends of eras in my life.....
anyways...enough of the cheese...i have to get things done....
i have to call the number on my jury summons and get them to postpone it until september...i don't know what i'll do if they refuse....i'll cry....and then they can deal with me that way....bec i can't take time off from work....seriously....i mean i'd have to deal with it if i have to serve....so stupid....
alright i should get back to my business at hand....i hope that there's a way to plug mon's computer back in bec she's not going to be happy...but i had to take the extension cord....it belonged to me....our room has such a horrible electric situation....there's only a few plugs...and it took a lot of creativity to plug everything in it...
so yeah.....i hope she can figure it out....
and now i go back to cleaning up the huge grenadine spill on our tile...this morning it looked like i had thrown away a dead body...that or the trash was bleeding out....it was thoroughly pleasurable to wake up to sticky mess...but it's almost gone....
muah! to everyone...i love u all...i'll write with updates about my camp experience and i hope to hear what everyone else is up to! |
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| one more week... |
[Jun. 5th, 2004|09:23 pm] |
so i have one more week in santa cruz...i started packing today....it's a weird feeling...but i feel productive for it...and i actually like my bed this way....maybe i like change....oh yeah...that must have seemed random....the way my furniture was before i didn't hav anywhere to put the stuff that i had packed up already...so i moved some stuff around so that now the corner is my packing central.....
and the fact that i'm leaving is starting to hit me...and i'm starting to realize that the people who surround me won't be there soon...and it makes me sad that there's not more of an effort to spend time together from some people...i think it's making a few people sad....we're all emotional right now....i'm glad for those who i have been able to spend more time with...i've had some great conversations with people lately....some other relationships r lacking...and it is really hitting me after the drama from last week that some friendships may not make it through this transition....
on another note....my back hurts....dr scott tells me to go to the dr....i think i might....maybe i'll get some pain killers...that would really help....will they give me something? or run tests that will cost me money that i don't want to spend and then tell me that they can't do anything? hmmmmmm....what do u think?
what else....i started working on my last assignment for school.....the movie i have to write about is a horror movie from 1972 about frogs....it is so bad...and on top of that the music sucks....
yay for me.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|11:27 pm] |
i'm feeling so betrayed and disliked right now....and the saddest part is that i haven't talked to any of them at all...and i have no desire...i feel like it's all fake....i don't want to be in a place where everyone's watching me to find the next thing they can talk about and use against me....i'm feeling so completely alone here right now....i'm gonna go to bed before i really start to cry about this....
i need a good friend to give me a hug....but none of them are here...
i want to be at camp..... |
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| an interesting turn of events.... |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|05:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | law and order.......yay! | ] |
so....first of all i had an amazing time this weekend....the wedding was so perfect....they got married in this tiny park with just a few friends....and then we went to a restaurant and had dinner and drinks on the patio....and it was all right next to the ocean....
and on top of that i got to completely scare most of my family by showing up this weekend which was amazing...i like surprising people...and i got to spend time with my jennifer since i haven't seen her in forever...i can't wait til i'm living down there and we get to hang out more...it was good times....
then i came home and watched the laker game.....go them! i can't wait to watch the finals now....
so then comes where things get not so like paradise...i come home and i was talking to scott and that was nice....we hadn't talked in awhile and i missed him a ton....it's going to be interesting seeing him all summer...i had a nice talk with dinah about my relationship with scott....i don't know what's going to happen this summer or in the future....only time will tell....
but while i was waiting for him to come online after his phone died i started talking to tiff....and she tells me that shit went down while i was gone....so i call her and she goes outside to whisper the story to me...i guess that people were talking and somehow the story became that a couple of weeks ago charles and i spent the whole night dancing in a dark corner together and then i went to do his show with him....so of course that doesn't sound good.....but it wasn't true.....we did dance alot that night bec tiff was dancing with other people and no one else that we were with danced....but the non dancers were in the corner with us....we were never alone....and i'm sorry that he's my friend and i hadn't spent any time with him in forever...but so here's where things get really weird....apparently sam confronts charles about it and instead of being honest which in my opinion he could have been...he lies and says that he was dancing with tiff all night.....so then when sam talks to tiff finds out he's lying....so moral of the story is that i can't hang out with my friends without watching my every move.....and i think that's really fucked up....i didn't do anything wrong...and i'm not after charles...no matter what people want to say....and i think it's also really sad that my friends think that much of me....so even tho we only have two weeks left and i was looking forward to hanging out with everyone before we leave....i don't now...and the more that i think about it the sadder i get....i didn't do anything wrong....
and now scott's going to be in pitt until fri so he's not going to be around to vent to....but at least he's taking his laptop...we've been having some serious discussions...y does he have to be so perfect? |
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| sickness..... |
[May. 25th, 2004|07:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the laker game!!!! :) | ] |
so yeah.....as u can see by my subject i am ill...i don't feel well....i have that headache that comes with a cold...so far my voice is ok and that's good for this weekend's concert...i think i'll be spending some quality time with my bed tonight...mmmmmmmmmmmmmm bed........
alright...i must be horizontal..... |
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| a fun night.... |
[May. 23rd, 2004|01:54 am] |
i just got home from one of the most fun nights i've had in awhile....cait and trish r both awesome and i'm excited that i get to spend time with them....we wandered around....and paper dolls talking trash is great...
right now there's a guy in a cow suit beating the crap out of another guy...what the hell am i watching? it's some weird ass sketch comedy show....interesting....
oh yeah....reminder to everyone....(ahem cait...)come see me sing my little heart out on thursday night at 8 in the porter dining hall...free gospel choir concert....i'm gonna sing about jesus....it's gonna be a good time....there's some amazing voices and musicians....and it's free......u can't beat that....and then we'll party after....
this is gonna be a good week....except i still need to find something to wear to the wedding....which sucks....but i'll find something....i'll just have to go looking someplace other than the damn mall on tuesday after class...
i need to go to bed bec i have to be on campus at 2....i know that's sad...but at the same time it took me until way after that to ready to do anything today.....lack of motivation.....maybe i'll find it again in my sleep....i used to have it......hmmmmmmm.....maybe it will come to me in a dream.....i'm typing really fast right now....i feel like i'm drunk or something but i'm not...i get amused by weird things when i'm drunk...and right now i'm very fascinated by typing....i can touch type now and that's the most amazing feeling bec sometimes i feel like my hands r coming up with the thoughts and i'm reading them when they come on the screen....now i'm getting way weird....i'm probably scaring someone.....
if i really wanted to scare u i could tell u about my dream last night....it's not really a write about it on here kinda thing.....ask me about it elsewhere and if i remember it i'll tell u....i have the weirdest recurring dream theme.....i should look it up....now i'm making everyone want to know what it is huh? well i guess u'll have to talk to me then.....
i can type fast....yay.......
damn i'm getting really random now...i should stop but i'm having fun typing...i don't even care what i type...it's just fun actually doing it.....lol.....
i get to be at a wedding in a week......i get to see camp people.....
ok that's all for now.....
i love u all..... |
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| a long day.... |
[May. 19th, 2004|11:28 pm] |
so it has been a long day...and one would think that since i'm usually in bed by now....sad i know....that i would be in bed considering the fact that i walked to and from with the children to natural bridges and had a really good cardio boxing class this morning....but no....i had a random craving for a soda.....at 11.....so i had to have one....so now i'm drinking it....is anyone else enjoying my rambliness....
so....mon's not going to class today...or at least she's not sure...that means no in my book....so i have to leave early to take the bus...good times...it's all good....it's almost over....and the class doesn't start until 10.....
i got my grad announcements today....they're cuter than i thought....my aunt made fun of me bec she told me that she's never seen a "cute" announcement....but hey....i'm one to call things "cute" or "not cute" i like those descriptions....u know what's not cute? my room....i need to do laundry before it takes over the whole room....maybe tomorrow....
but back to my announcements...they have the squiggle on them! i didn't know they would...but i love it...bec it's so porter...
what else happened today.....oh yeah....qfs followup meeting....it was cool to see everyone....travis and i passed the torch and let peter and megan run things...it was weird...and i'm sure my fellow graduating qfs-ers can agree....it was weird hearing plans for a show that WE WON'T BE INVOLVED IN!!!! i had a moment while i was sitting there...
my back hurts.....and i want another massage...alas....i lack the funding for that...i need to find myself a massage slave.....hmmmmmmm.....that could be fun....i should get on top of that....or under......wandering mind!!!!
random work moment:
kids~jacob's hurt!
me~what did u hurt?
jacob~there's sand in my face
me~i'm going to use my sweatshirt to dust the sand off of your face
~ok....u can't touch your eyes with your hand cuz they're covered in sand....
and it just went on like this....me wiping sand off of his face....him freaking out bec he had sand in his eyes....and then putting even more sand in his eyes....i finally got the sand out....so this wasn't the most exciting story...but i decided that i should write more things that happen at work....there's some funny stuff that i deal with....so stay tuned on fri....
so apparently i'm the only girl from my circle of friends that will be in town this weekend...i think i need to hang out with my boys....ok...so maybe i'm thinking about one in particular...is it wrong of me to ask him to hang out this weekend? we haven't spent any time together at all in so long...maybe massage time....he's good at that....nothing too crazy...just good time with a friend....
ok...i'm off....goodnight world.... |
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| a thin line.... |
[May. 16th, 2004|11:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jurassic 5 ~ thin line.... | ] |
so...
i'm having an interesting thought process right now.....my mind is wandering between two guys....
there's always scott...i just don't know what to do with that...i leave it as him being my best friend....but it's hard bec i know the other feelings r there...and for some reason i was feeling like i wanted some male attention this weekend....and for those of u who know my love of trucks and the fantasy attached....the fact that when i got home and talked to him today and he told me that he test drove not one but 3 big black trucks i was speechless...and his favorite was my favorite...he made me guess which one he was thinking about and i guessed the f150 bec that's my sexy truck....and he was all...u know me too well...yeah...bec we think alike and fit together....
oh yeah....i said about coming home a few lines ago....i went to berkeley this weekend...it was so much fun....going to a party that didn't get broken up at 11:30....of course it got broken up at 12:30.....but that was a whole hour of shaking my ass that i don't usually get...and i got to hang out with some really cool people and hear a spoken word piece entitled "mediocre penis" which he personalized for the audience....it was awesome...enough said....and then today we went to a bbq with the same people and had a lot of fun...i like berkeley...it's a cool town...
anyways...so let's get on with my life......the song that i'm listening to reminds me of the other guy on my mind....who i'd rather not name bec of the situation....let's just say some people know who he is....and i shouldn't like him....but i've had a few conversations with friends this weekend that took me back to the time when it was ok for me to like him and reminded me of why i did....i haven't spent time with him for awhile....i want to soon....i miss talking to him...he's a good friend no matter what...and to those of u shaking your head right now....i'm NOT going after him....i'm just being honest about my feelings...
so now that we've whined about that....let's talk some more about scott and his black truck....i swear that will pop up in my dreams tonight....and i'll enjoy it....and if he does get a truck my resistance level to him will plummet to 0...that is if i ever had resistance to him in the first place....sometimes i feel like i don't....but then i think about it...there have been a few times...i just can't wait to be at camp together and see what the awkwardness is going to be this year....god i miss him....
school has become a complete joke to me....i'm taking 7 units now....film music i'm completely acing...i don't know how considering that i had to get no sleep in order to finish the paper during hell week and then took the midterm after 3 hours of sleep.....but i did it....and nothing is due in that class until the final...and then i have gospel choir.....which meets once a week...oh yeah....anyone who wants to come see me sing my little heart out....thursday may 27th at 8 in the porter dining hall....should be pretty good....live music and it's free...and we actually sound pretty good....anyways...i got a w in the field study bec i was not gonna write a 10 pg paper on qfs after the fact....i'm enjoying being done with the show...
i love how this is the longest entry i've written in months....now that i have free time i think u'll all see more of me....hopefully that's a good thing.....
alright...i think i'm off to bed so i can go to boxing in the morning....
muah! |
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| la la la..... |
[May. 10th, 2004|10:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sore | ] |
so it's been an interesting weekend....the show is over but i was left with incredible pain in my shoulder...and i have been putting heat on it....which makes me fall asleep...so i have spent a lot of time sleeping.....and i'm kinda tired right now.....so i think i shall write more another time....
maybe after my massage tomorrow.........mmmmmmmm massage........pardon my drool..... |
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| qfs is over.... |
[May. 9th, 2004|02:29 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | music |
| | some random shit on tv.....i think it's an infomercial.... | ] |
so i'm really sad that the show is over....as tired of the late nights as i was getting...but being on stage for the last time i cried...i couldn't help it...
and i'm too drunk and angry to talk about my lack of cast party outlet right now....
i shall write more later.... |
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| arrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhh.... |
[Apr. 7th, 2004|05:14 pm] |
do u ever get the feeling that your in over your head? it started yesterday and i have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach....i know i can handle all of this stuff with the show....but the stress is starting to hit me...i just wish i knew how to get rid of the sinking feeling....but hey....one month and it's over and i shall let the fun begin...
i'm just really frustrated....i miss andie....she comes back in about a month....i just wish she was here to calm me down....i'm so crazy....
i think i need to cry....but i have to wait until tonight....can this just be over???? |
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| woo hoo! |
[Mar. 29th, 2004|10:20 am] |
i got into the cardio boxing class...and i'm so excited....it's gonna be lots of fun...i'm really glad i'm a morning person tho....otherwise i would never make it.....
now i just have to find that one other class...damn them for cancelling my class! |
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| soooo good.... |
[Mar. 21st, 2004|01:12 am] |
i just stayed up later than i normally would.....bec i couldn't stop reading "one for the money".....that book is SO good....and i can't wait to read the other ones....thank u mel....
but i think i'm tired now so i shall go to bed....
muah! |
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